Counselling with Jules

Counselling  ◊  Supervision

The Blog That’s Not Really A Blog!

Hello There!

On the off chance that someone is reading this … WELCOME to my blog that’s not a blog. As I understand it, A blog is something that’s regularly updated with new posts. However, the chances are that’s not going to happen here. It’s going to be sporadic at best.

Just Random Ramblings

I have no planned themes. Rather, I’ll be sharing some random musings, observations, thoughts, or ideas as and when they pop up. I hope you find them somewhat interesting, helpful, and at times entertaining.  They will, however, be related in some way to my work and human nature.

I spend a lot of time, and I mean a LOT of time thinking about the work I do. The nature of humans and what makes us the way we are. In part, I’m trying to understand how why we end up sitting in front of therapists. But, for the most part, it’s about how to undo the reasons we end up sitting in front of therapists. Spending our hard-earned cash to undo the damage done by, let’s face it, our parents.

And, perhaps, certain other significant adults, including teachers. The stories I’ve heard about teachers are enough to make your hair curl. We might as well include other kids too, while we’re at it. We all know what it’s like to be at school, and what kids are capable of.  Nevertheless, it’s mainly our parents or caregivers. I’ve seen it over and over again.  After all, our parents are the main influence in our formative years for better or worse. Perhaps we should send them the bill!!

Don’t Blame The Parents

Why not? I don’t intend to get into a parent-bashing session here. Most parents don’t set out to fuck their kids up. However they still do, and I’m a big believer in helping my clients recognize that. Kids, more often than not, blame themselves for their parent’s behaviour. Kids think it means something about them rather than the parent. For example; “Mum’s always angry with me, that must mean I’m a bad kid.” It doesn’t occur to the child that mum’s angry because she’s feeling out of control, or that she’s got anger issues. If it happens often enough, hey presto, you’ve developed a belief that you’re bad! Holding parents responsible for their behaviour means we can see that it was more about them than it was about us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Brains Like Sponges.

Kids’, brains are like little sponges. After all, they have to be, to soak up huge amounts of information in a relatively short period. In the first few years, much of the template our lives will follow is laid down. This means we are pretty much at the mercy of those we come into contact with. Some of us are lucky enough to be surrounded by positive, affirmative, individuals who help us create a positive template. But, unfortunately, many of us aren’t. Undoubtedly, these are the people who end up sitting in front of me.

My brain soaked up more than its fair share of negative messages as a kid. They came at me thick and fast and stayed with me into adulthood. The impact of those messages on my adult life can’t be underestimated. They became my programming. What I believed about myself, people, and the world. I’m not exaggerating when I say they ruined my life for a long time. I’ll never undo all of them. Fortunately, I won’t have to. Each event you heal from, every belief you change makes a difference. Thank **** for that!

Anyway, that’s my first rambling completed. I told you!!

My cats Maz n Moosh

By Jules

When I’m not busy with clients, keeping up with the latest therapy techniques  or writing blog posts, you can usually find me avoiding housework by cuddling with my cats, diving into audiobooks, or taking leisurely walks outdoors . Ideally towards a pub for a nice cold pint.

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